I'm a little trouble right now. Lost in fact. I don't know who my friends are and I don't know who to trust anymore either. I define friends as the people you hang out with most, the ones who are there for you when you're at your worst and when you're at your best. The people who call you up to go places. It seems not everyone thinks that way.
At first, when I didn't get the calls to go "hang out" I was like whatever, I couldn't have gone anyways. But when I'm free, louging around the house and could have gone, it hurt, just a little bit. And as time went by it ate at me. I have no right to complain, make a fuss. Why should I even care? I guess a little part of me wanted to be invited and included badly it brought to my attention that these kids consider me as academic friends, not a person to talk to. And with that I felt really alone. But who am I to complain, I myself consider people as such also.

So right now, I'm trying my best to not care. Telling myself i couldn't have gone anyways. But a part of me always gets hurt. I get hurt too much these days. I need to somehow change my outlook. To care less about people. To seize every opportunity to get to my desired goals. To have it be okay to say whatever those people don't matter.

Funny how i've never had close friends. I must be doing something wrong or a terrible person. @.@;; i wish i could figure out what to do differently.

I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

1. Summer Part I
So what seemed like ages of practicing kinda paid off (i believe it was something like 7 hours per day for 3 weeks so that i could learn 3 songs....yay for procrastination). The payment was A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA. the kinda was cuz i totally got a screwed up chinese judge. It was pretty awful playing in front of her because, 1. she looks like my mother (if you've seen my mother... tally ho for you) 2. she's stereotypical chinese, high standards and what not, 3. she can't judge for crap shit and 4. An/the other An (the coolest and 2nd most dedicated student at the studio) got a pretty low score, i believe lowest in all of her years playing....so i went in expecting to fail miserably. I even came out expecting to fail miserably. except i passed. and cp made me look like a horrible liar by lying to the judge. -__-  Anyways we still had to wait for don to go "lunch" (it was more like dinner when don and i finished performing) and so to waste our time we played several practical jokes on donomon ( the most dramatic guy i've ever met, even when compared to the other most dramatic guy i know at Troy). So the An, Jamie, DH, and I reparked his car, took his cellphone animals and relocated them in his car (behind a tree no less) and of course stole some money out of his wallet (he was SUPPOSED to pay for dinner). AHAHAH his face was to die for. neways cp finally came back from her "30 minute shower" (she spent about 4 hours) and i went partaying at a nearby buffet with dh, donnomon, cp, the An aka Binh An Na, Jamie, and lisa. Thus my parents are content because they no longer have to shell out hundreds of dollars for lessons (i QUIT DAMN STRAIGHT hahah WHOOO).

 2. Summer Part II
Around that same time Best Buys had a computer sale. It was one of those you HAVE to take a look at the ad to know about sale. it went for a week. but my brother and i arrived 8 AM on the first day to take our dibs on computers. 1 acer for 430 for my brother. 1 gateway for 550 for my uncle. i decided i'm gonna wait til black friday to buy something with a quad core...which i believe should be out by then. i have King Kong (my kick ass compie) which i am content with lugging the huge thing to my dorm. then my brother and father decides that THIS is the time to go to vietnam....so like my family....we're such last minute people it's sad. so after a few rushed preperations they left. i didn't want to go, cuz it's hot over there and the idea of spending up to 3k while i could stay here and make a little less wasn't appealing in the least. and my madre wanted to stay cuz of ... stuff. SO whee. the very day they left my mother and i went to grams for a party. and friday after a misinterpreted  orientation (as embarrassing as it is, i SERIOUSLY thought that friday was Aug. 6th as apposed to the correct Aug. 3rd. fortunately there was an orientation that day and i paid some extra and got in and got all of the classes i wanted) i went to my uncles for another party. and then my cousin got into USC with a full scholarship (gradschool peeps) and so we had another party for her that sat. and then sunday i don't remember what happened.

and yup that's as exciting as my summers get.

And my side job is that i sell rift raft items. So if u want
Altec Lansing fx5051 5.1 version-- $180
Stone necklaces (like those stone ones you see at costco's random shows) $35
Earrings

the necklaces i JUST got today so i'll get pictures up...by next week and find a way

AHH i'm being attacked by ants

and if ur interested and have time. check out dima bilan. he's a russian singer. very good voice. VERY HOT. :D